The PC has lot of rules . . . loads of dos and don’ts. But most aren’t difficult to follow. For instance, we can't ride on any two-wheeled motorized vehicle. Now for most of you, what naturally comes to mind is a motorcycle. And it makes perfect sense that PCVs have no business on a motorcycle in world where many Burkinabé are still learning to drive . . . meaning that one may have begun driving about 15 years ago. In The B.F., motorized bicycles aren’t uncommon. You know what I’m talking about . . . a bike that requires one to pedal rapidly while the bike stand remains in place in order to rev-up its little engine. To me, motorized bikes appear completely innocuous, but we can’t ride 'em.

Did you know that goats squat to pee, almost like a female canine? I think sheep do it, too; but don’t quote me on that.

Something new has come to Burkina Faso. The moto-taxi. Picture a motorcycle with a small, two-wheeled flat-bed trailer mounted to its rear. I first spied my new best friend, the moto-taxi, in a larger city here in Burkina, but now we even have one in little Pô. One. Still, they’re handy for hauling large items . . . such as bundles of luggage, a bicycle, and a PCV.

I went to Koudougou to teach tofu-making at IST. And how did I travel from the gare to the training center (which is a nunnery, no kidding)? Moto-taxi. I went to Ouahigouya to make neem creme. And how did I arrive at the PCV’s home? Moto-taxi. I probably won’t ever use the moto-taxi in Pô since I doubt it could climb the steep hill to my home. But let’s not rule it out. Anyway, I don’t know whether these are officially off-limits to PCVs, and I ain’t askin’. I see at least three wheels on moto-taxis, so I’m operating under the notion that I’m OK riding on them.

Yesterday I saw a single large male goat riding in a moto-taxi. The goat didn’t quite have its sea legs so he decided to sit down, just like a dog. Or did he? No, in fact I believe the goat was peeing in the back of a moto-taxi. Do I even need to mention that pressure-wash car washes are unheard of here?

So last week I took a moto-taxi back from the nunnery to the bus station in Koudougou. Evidently the driver saw thrill me written all over my face and decided to take the worst dirt path in Burkina. I could feel the rocks rattling in my head. The rocks that developed when I first got the notion to join the PC. Anyway, then I sat on a sack full of rice and waited in 110-degree heat for two-and-a-half hours. Finally, I took the filled-beyond-capacity bus to Ouaga. Upon arrival I was doubled-over in pain. By 9:00 p.m. I had blood in my urine. Long story short: a sonogram the following day revealed kidney stones. Blood work and other samples revealed a UTI, a kidney infection, a roving rash secondary to a viral infection, and bacterial enteritis. It seems that in Burkina kidney stones are caused primarily by the hot season. They’re even common among the Burkinabé. During hot season our bodies simply don’t function well . . . regardless of the endless consumption of water, sodas, beer, GatorAid, or water mixed with oral rehydration salts (ORS). So it wasn’t the bumpy moto-taxi ride after all. Of course, there's always a silver lining, and mine was that this malady bought me two nights in the air-conditioned med unit.

Should I think twice before seating myself in a moto-taxi . . . because, after all, how does one get goat urine out of the corrugated flatbed of a moto-taxi? Are the kidney stones really gone? Sortie-d? Where does a goat get the money for a moto-taxi? We can only speculate.